My Love Story

Someone once told me that you have 3 true love partners and I honestly believe that. The last one is the one you will spend the rest of your life with.  He will be the person that brings out the best in you. He will be caring, thoughtful, faithful, honest, and so much more than just a partner. He will be your soul mate. I am with this person now and I can totally see a difference between our relationship and past relationships. 
To get the full effect of this amazing love story you have to start at the beginning of when I first thought I was in love. 
Let’s start in high school. Senior year, I get pregnant with my boyfriend at the time  As we all know, most things in high school don’t last. The one good thing that came out of it was our son Ethan. He is my pride and joy! Long story, short, Ethan’s father is a great father to him, but we are better off with other people. 
My next relationship was with someone I met through mutual friends and we were together for 2 year until my son and I moved into his place with him. We were together for six years. He proposed to me while we were on vacation and I was beyond happy. I thought this person, was my person, but I did not see all of the warning signs that told me that he was not. I was so wrapped up in how long we were already together and how I wanted to start my next chapter in life (more kids), I couldn’t see the warning signs.  One day, I was on my way to work and he texted me that it was over, because we had a fight the night before and he went and stayed somewhere else. We did not really get along and I didn’t see that until the relationship ended. So, that break up was very hard, but taught me a lot about who I am. 
Ethan and I moved back in with my parents and I saved enough money after a year to purchase my own home. I worked on myself and Ethan for a while until I thought I was ready to get back into the dating game. 
I went on a few dates here and there, but nothing really stood out. One day this person messages me and we start to talk throughout the entire day and night. Basically, anytime we could. He wanted to meet right away, but I was still nervous. I remember the weekend we met. I needed to go get a birthday present for my sister and he was like, well, I can just go with you! So, I said fine. We met and went to the mall. Now something funny about this is, my sister just had her first son and was wanting a book on how to make baby food. We went into the book store at the mall and searched around for one. We had a good time in the book store and afterwards we went to dinner at Red Lobster. It was delish! He dropped me off back at home, but I was really not ready for the night to end so I asked him if he wanted to come in.  We watched a movie and even cuddled. The next few weeks we talked and hung out some. We were ready for Ethan (son) and him to meet! We thought that pizza and skating would be the best plan, because it is always fun to have an activity to do when the communication might not be there, since it’s a new person in our life. Randy and Ethan hit it off. They liked each other from the start. Now they are like best friends! Sometimes, now and then, they have “bro days!”

Randy proposed to me on my 30th birthday and we had our dream wedding in June of 2016! I always knew I would get married on the beach, with my closest family there! Randy and I are best friends and I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Our proposal Video: https://youtu.be/kEM7dNTq-2A

Our Wedding Video: https://youtu.be/SzSU4lr0lNc

Follow me at any of these places:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loveinjune16/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jrenfro99

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Love Story- Guest Blog

My Second Best Love Story

My name is Meg, and I’m here to tell a love story. This story is a winding one, and like all good love stories, it doesn’t end. This story is my second best love story – the story of learning to love myself. 

This story is an interesting one to approach, because for many years, I hated myself. It’s only been very recently that I’ve been making efforts to fix that. I was okay with my mind until age 11, but I have vivid memories of despising my appearance even before then. It was rare that I even tried to love myself, even back then. I would never like to look at pictures of myself, stating that I looked “ugly”. 

Then came February of 2008.

You know that scene in the first Harry Potter movie where Harry’s uncle tries to prevent any letters from reaching Harry by nailing any place a letter could enter shut, only to find that a flood of letters entered anyway?

My mind became like that, and hit crisis point that Valentine’s Day. The aftermath would lead to my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, which is essentially the corner wherein bipolar and schizophrenia meet, and would ensure that I would never be free of psychiatrist appointments and therapy sessions again. 

My mind was chaotic, and I grew to hate it. I resented the manic highs and made friends with the depressive lows, which was a grave error. The lows made me feel more in control, sure. They were also the emotional equivalent of that friend who claims to be close to you, only to spill all of the embarrassing things you tell them to their other “friends”. They were not kind, and I would have these mental spirals that were very difficult to escape from. I resented myself for having a mental illness, and beat the daylights out of myself mentally for it, especially as my symptoms turned more bipolar than anything else.

There were times when my mind and I got along. I could throw an album of original songs together in 8 days by the time I turned 19 when the inspiration struck, and I didn’t mind that. In hindsight, I think that was me befriending the manic side of the bipolar egged on by Mountain Dew. In any case, it worked, and I’d make an album every once in awhile. 

My first real attempt to know myself actually came through album-writing. Primrose Path, my fifth album, flung barbed words at God, culture, and the school I was attending, but also caused me to question my Mormon faith. That debate had been raging for some time, but I finally expressed formally in writing here. This opened the floodgates, and a few months later these thoughts laid the foundation for my seventh album, Mago. Mago was the beginning of a journey. It was raw and haunting, with many of the songs building on Primrose’s themes of recovery and self discovery. It is easily my most real and honest album. It took lyrically gutting myself and getting these thoughts on paper to understand where I needed to go. I needed to know what I looked and felt like, I needed to accept and love myself I was to go anywhere other than the state of confusion I was in.

For the next few months, I focused on appearance. I wore clothes that I thought made me look like myself, but something was missing. It turned out that the something missing was inside me. It was me not accepting myself for who I am and owning my story. I was reunited with my high school crush shortly afterwards, who would later become my husband. He accepted – and still accepts – me for who I am. He pushed me to better myself from the start. He won’t let me hold any kind of emotion back, and is always here no matter what I’m feeling. 

The next big breakthrough came when I wrote a blog post called “Best Dress, or I Can’t Remember What I’ve Forgotten”, in which I opened up about my mental illnesses. I haven’t looked back. 

I know that my journey is just beginning. Writing helps me figure out what I need to do and to process my world. I have the support of kind people in my life. Learning to love myself has been a quest to give myself permission to mess up and be vulnerable, but also to relax and reevaluate when things get hard. It’s difficult because I don’t give myself these gifts a lot of time. I’m the worst at taking advice, and this often includes advice I give myself. It’s a journey. The thing I try to remember is that it’s okay to be flawed, it’s okay to be human, and learning these things is a journey. Being myself is my goal today – and always.

Meg Jam is the oddball behind Byzantines and Button Downs, a blog simply about coming home. Meg is 21 and loves her husband and her Mountain Dew. They live in Alaska.

Instagram: @byzantinesandbuttondowns

blog: agenderadventures.wordpress.com

music: megdunnmusic.bandcamp.com

twitter: @buttondowndeity

********************************************

Meg, I hope you continue to write because I believe that you can help others! Your husband sounds like an amazing guy for you. I hope that he continues to push you, to be you. You are your journey and great things are going to happen! Be you and enjoy life as much as you can.

Follow me at any of these places:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loveinjune16/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jrenfro99

Every Day

Every single day I listen to a podcast! Most of the time it is on my way to work or on my way home. If I have time throughout the day to listen, I will also listen then too. Today I will make a list of the ones that I have already listened to and I think you would enjoy too.

How it is by Hello Sunshine with Reese Witherspoon and Diane Guerrero! This podcast is by far my most favorite! It has made me laugh, cry and just feel empowered! I recommended it to everyone! The first season is over, so I cannot wait and hope for a second!

The Minimalists with Josh and Ryan. They talk to us about how to live life minimally! I have decided that I too would like to do that, but not to the extreme that they are. Well, I wouldn’t call them extreme, but I for sure will have more “stuff” than they would. They have been pod-casting for a while now and I still have not finished all of their episodes, because I am a podcast bouncer!

This is Love is a podcast about LOVE! There are 6 episodes and each one is a little different than the other. I think the 2nd and 3rd are my favorite of the 6 episodes, but I recommend listening to all! Another season will came out in the fall. Hopefully they will have more than six episodes!

Coffee Convos hosted by Kail Lowery from Teen Mom 2 and  Lindsie Chrisley of USA Network’s Chrisley Knows Best. They are both pretty funny and its nice to see a totally different side of their lives! I look forward to it every Wednesday! They talk about stars, motherhood and being totally opposite.

Ear Hustle between Nigel Poor, a Bay Area visual artist, Earloone Woods, who is currently incarcerated at San Quentin State Prison and was co-founded with fellow inmate Antwan Williams. This podcast keeps it real! They tell you all about prison life and I never thought it would be so interesting, but it really is! Oh, and the music and beats on it are amazing!

Caught is about the juvenile detention system and how it is being a kid/teen there. You get to hear about how it has change their lives forever! I will never forget the episode where one of the kids said that they just want someone to love them, even if its for a second! How sad! Gosh, it makes me want to help them so much more!

Its happening with Snooki and her gay best friend Joey! They are so funny together! They talk about celebs and anything and everything!

Dirty John I binge listened to over a weekend! It was interesting it is about a successful woman that found a man that was everything she was hoping for! Her daughters end up night liking him find out why in the podcast. It was one I couldn’t put down!

Couples therapy with Casey and Candice. They talk about their life and the therapy that they go through. It is newer and so far I have liked it. They keep it real and honest discussing their relationship and how to make it better.

Whine Down is with Jana Kramer and her good friend. They discuss a little of everything! Relationships, infertility, divorce, parenting, mediums, and sex. She has on guest and its great to just whine down and listen!

Let me know the ones you like and I will give them a try. Have you listened to any of the ones I listed?

Thanks for reading!

You can follow me:

Twitter: @jrenfro99

Instagram: @loveinjune16

Happy 4th

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!

I hope you get to spend it with those that matter and have a fun save day and evening!

What are you plan for the 4th?

You can follow me.

Twitter: @jrenfro99

Instagram: @loveinjune16

Yogurt Bites

Last night Ethan and I made yogurt bites for my work pot luck today. They were super easy to make and yummy to eat!

So good I must share how/what we did!

What you need:

silicone ice trays

yogurt

fruit

Step 1: Cut up the fruit and put it in the ice trays.

Step 2: Put Yogurt in.

Step 3: Place in freezer for 2 hours.

Step 4: Push it out of the ice trays and ENJOY!!

Ethan used a zip lock bag and put a whole in the bottom for the yogurt to squirt out.

Hope you enjoy! Its super easy and good to eat when its so hot out.

Thanks for reading.

You can follow me:

Twitter: @jrenfro99

Instagram: @loveinjune16

Music Monday

Starting this Monday and moving forward I plan on doing “Music Mondays.”

I will give a song each Monday and tell you what it means to me and hopefully it makes your Monday a little bit better.

Monday’s are hard so lets make them short/sweet and to the point!

OHHH,  something you should also know is, I love all kinds of music, so you never know what you might find!

Here is My Girl by The Temptations.

https://youtu.be/uCcNcHx2DpY

My dad and I walked out to this song for our wedding! Such a meaningful song!

Enjoy!

You can find me:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instgram @loveinjune16

10% to the Ocean

You guys!!!!! My most favorite place is the ocean and ocean life!! I am an ambassador with Sand Cloud and 10% of the profit goes to marine life!!

Right now and to the 4th they have a 40% off there entire website!!! Here is my code where you can get even more off!!

You can send me your email if you want or just type in the code. Whatever works best for you! Please take a moment and look through the website they have something for everyone plus it helps marine life!

Thanks for reading!!

You can follow me:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram: loveinjune16

Goals, July 2018

Hello July! I have decided that I want to do monthly goals and then each month update them. I have learned that writing down goals help, you achieve them. I will have personal goals and then blogging goals.

Personal:

1. Get 10,000 steps every single day in July. I am normally just a few thousand below, so I will take the extra time in the morning and walk. Maybe I will even walk at lunch time depending on how busy we are that day. (I work full time at a doctors office) If I do not get it by the time I get home from work I will go on an evening walk.

2. 1 soda a day! I normally have about 4 a day and I know that is terrible for your teeth and body.

3. Go to bed by 10pm and wake up on the weekends by 10am.

Blogging:

1. Set up a schedule. I would like to do Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday each week.

2. Read other blogs and comment and get to know other bloggers.

3. Share blog on Facebook, instagram and Twitter!

When you reach your goals you should ALWAYS reward yourself! If I reach all goals I plan on getting a much needed full body massage!

What are your goals? Please share in the comments and let’s cheer each other on!

Thank you for reading!

You can follow:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram @loveinjune16

In a Funk

I have been writing a lot this week and I have not posted because for the first time it is personal, like real personal! I have wrote, deleted and rewrote again and again. Today is the day I am just going to lay it all out on the line.

Please remember that these are my own thoughts/feelings and everyone is different. The way I handle my life could be much different than the way you do, and that is okay.

Lets go for a 2 for 1. First part will be what I wrote this morning and then the second one is what I have been writing all week.

This week I have been in a funk! I feel like I can’t do anything right, just want to sleep and do nothing! I have more and more idea’s that I want to do and I know I should do after work, but all I do is go home take a nap then stay up and watch TV. How lazy! Maybe it is because Ethan, my son is with his dad this week. Who knows the reason, but I feel like today is the day I will get out of this funk because Ethan will be home when I get off work!

It has either been raining or super hot here and I cant get outside when I should be. The sun honestly makes me a happy person! Sometimes I think of moving, but I would miss my family way too much!

Actually today is my moms last day at her job, she is retiring! Congratulations mom!

Well my writing has been all over the place during this blog, but that’s okay because its mine.

I want to be a better person I feel terrible about this week because I have been moody and just physically and emotionally not there. Sorry.

NOW on to the weekend! No work! All Fun, I hope.

It is okay to take depression medication! For my entire life I have been on some sort of depression medication or have actively tried to stay in a positive/upbeat mood!

Some people will be shocked to hear that I am sure, but that is okay. I am okay with saying I have been depressed and I have taken medication to help with it. I am stable. I am able to work, take care of my son and just be a normal human when I take my medication. Some days are not easy, but I always get through it.

There have been many suicides, and mental illness coming out in famous people, but don’t forget those that aren’t famous! We always talk about it more once someone famous has taken their life or is in the hospital. That just honestly drives me crazy! Everyday someone is depressed and if you just take a minute to ask how others are you could bright up their day!

One of the main reason I started this blog is to get comfortable about writing about hard stuff like depression, suicide, hospital visits, abuse, rape, and feelings. This is my first time actually writing and publishing for others to see and read how I feel about this.

Main objective of this post is YES, it is okay to take medication and do not stop taking the medication until a doctor can help you get off the medication, so that it doesn’t make matters worse.

That’s all I have on this subject for now, more, another time.

Thanks for reading.

You can find me:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram @loveinjune16

I Love Murder

You guys I have been obsessed with podcasts the last few months! Have you listened to podcast before? If you have not I highly recommend it. I listen to many different ones, but this blog will be about the favorite murder and true crime ones!

Who knew there would be so many and why do I enjoy listening to them? Apparently many people do though because there are tons out there! I seriously have not listened to a podcast that I have not enjoyed! So here we go my favorites:

Serial hosted by Sarah Kornig. There are two seasons of this one and I feel like the first is better than the second, but both are a good listen. The first season is about Hae Min Lee who was popular in school and she went missing and then founded murdered! The cops arrested her boyfriend who might be innocent! This was the very first podcast I listened to and was hooked on season one like crazy!

The second season is about military and captivity.

Up and Vanished with Payne Lindsey. It’s about a disappearance of Tara Grinstead who was a high school teacher and beauty queen in Georgia. This has been a cold case for 11 Year’s! You get to hear multiple interviews and hear about evidence!

This podcast is second one that I listened to and is still a favorite!

Atalanta Monster with Payne Lindsey. Do you remember hearing on the news “it’s 10 o’clock do you know where your children are?” About 40 years ago there was a killer on the streets of Atalanta and Payne walks you through the entire case!

S-Town is about a town in Alabama that John says needs some investigating because someone got away with murder and they are bragging about it! Someone unexpected ends up dead and the truth leads to a treasure hunt and fights.

Serial Killers tells you pretty much the autobiography of the killer.

Breakdown has Six seasons and a binged them all between April and May. First season was about Justin Chatman and how he could be in jail for no reason. Second season is about a death in a hot car and while it was a very upsetting and sad story apparently it happens more than we know! Third season was about a doctor jeopardizing his career and taking advantage of woman. Fourth season was about a young murder outside of Taco Bell. The fifth season was about Tex Mclver case. Sixth season was about a double murder outside of burger king. All season are good! I hope they come out with more!

Unsolved is unsolved true crime. First season is about a freshman student that goes missing and then found murdered. Second season is about a two and half year old that goes missing and then founded three weeks later in a river.

A Killing on Cape is about Christina Worthington who was a single mother to a two year old little girl! Christina was found stabbed to death in her home with her child there, but unharmed. Find out how it all unfolds by listening!

A murder on Orchard Street is an unsolved case from 2003. Burke was leaving a night club with a friend and sister and was shot to death. His sister tried to save him, but was unsuccessful. Find out who shot him in the podcast!

The last one I will mention is My Favorite Murder with Karen an Georgia! These two ladies are super funny and just enjoy talking abut murder and everything in between. Honestly I just started their podcast from the beginning and I can only see it getting better and better!

Do you have any favorite murder or true crime podcast? I would love to listen to what you enjoyed! If you have listened to any of the ones that I listed, please comment with which ones and if you liked it or not!

Oh yes, I do listen to more than murder and true crime, I will list those in another post soon!

Thanks for reading!

You can find me on:

Twitter: @jrenfro99

Instagram: @loveinjune16