10% to the Ocean

You guys!!!!! My most favorite place is the ocean and ocean life!! I am an ambassador with Sand Cloud and 10% of the profit goes to marine life!!

Right now and to the 4th they have a 40% off there entire website!!! Here is my code where you can get even more off!!

You can send me your email if you want or just type in the code. Whatever works best for you! Please take a moment and look through the website they have something for everyone plus it helps marine life!

Thanks for reading!!

You can follow me:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram: loveinjune16

Goals, July 2018

Hello July! I have decided that I want to do monthly goals and then each month update them. I have learned that writing down goals help, you achieve them. I will have personal goals and then blogging goals.

Personal:

1. Get 10,000 steps every single day in July. I am normally just a few thousand below, so I will take the extra time in the morning and walk. Maybe I will even walk at lunch time depending on how busy we are that day. (I work full time at a doctors office) If I do not get it by the time I get home from work I will go on an evening walk.

2. 1 soda a day! I normally have about 4 a day and I know that is terrible for your teeth and body.

3. Go to bed by 10pm and wake up on the weekends by 10am.

Blogging:

1. Set up a schedule. I would like to do Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday each week.

2. Read other blogs and comment and get to know other bloggers.

3. Share blog on Facebook, instagram and Twitter!

When you reach your goals you should ALWAYS reward yourself! If I reach all goals I plan on getting a much needed full body massage!

What are your goals? Please share in the comments and let’s cheer each other on!

Thank you for reading!

You can follow:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram @loveinjune16

In a Funk

I have been writing a lot this week and I have not posted because for the first time it is personal, like real personal! I have wrote, deleted and rewrote again and again. Today is the day I am just going to lay it all out on the line.

Please remember that these are my own thoughts/feelings and everyone is different. The way I handle my life could be much different than the way you do, and that is okay.

Lets go for a 2 for 1. First part will be what I wrote this morning and then the second one is what I have been writing all week.

This week I have been in a funk! I feel like I can’t do anything right, just want to sleep and do nothing! I have more and more idea’s that I want to do and I know I should do after work, but all I do is go home take a nap then stay up and watch TV. How lazy! Maybe it is because Ethan, my son is with his dad this week. Who knows the reason, but I feel like today is the day I will get out of this funk because Ethan will be home when I get off work!

It has either been raining or super hot here and I cant get outside when I should be. The sun honestly makes me a happy person! Sometimes I think of moving, but I would miss my family way too much!

Actually today is my moms last day at her job, she is retiring! Congratulations mom!

Well my writing has been all over the place during this blog, but that’s okay because its mine.

I want to be a better person I feel terrible about this week because I have been moody and just physically and emotionally not there. Sorry.

NOW on to the weekend! No work! All Fun, I hope.

It is okay to take depression medication! For my entire life I have been on some sort of depression medication or have actively tried to stay in a positive/upbeat mood!

Some people will be shocked to hear that I am sure, but that is okay. I am okay with saying I have been depressed and I have taken medication to help with it. I am stable. I am able to work, take care of my son and just be a normal human when I take my medication. Some days are not easy, but I always get through it.

There have been many suicides, and mental illness coming out in famous people, but don’t forget those that aren’t famous! We always talk about it more once someone famous has taken their life or is in the hospital. That just honestly drives me crazy! Everyday someone is depressed and if you just take a minute to ask how others are you could bright up their day!

One of the main reason I started this blog is to get comfortable about writing about hard stuff like depression, suicide, hospital visits, abuse, rape, and feelings. This is my first time actually writing and publishing for others to see and read how I feel about this.

Main objective of this post is YES, it is okay to take medication and do not stop taking the medication until a doctor can help you get off the medication, so that it doesn’t make matters worse.

That’s all I have on this subject for now, more, another time.

Thanks for reading.

You can find me:

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram @loveinjune16

I Love Murder

You guys I have been obsessed with podcasts the last few months! Have you listened to podcast before? If you have not I highly recommend it. I listen to many different ones, but this blog will be about the favorite murder and true crime ones!

Who knew there would be so many and why do I enjoy listening to them? Apparently many people do though because there are tons out there! I seriously have not listened to a podcast that I have not enjoyed! So here we go my favorites:

Serial hosted by Sarah Kornig. There are two seasons of this one and I feel like the first is better than the second, but both are a good listen. The first season is about Hae Min Lee who was popular in school and she went missing and then founded murdered! The cops arrested her boyfriend who might be innocent! This was the very first podcast I listened to and was hooked on season one like crazy!

The second season is about military and captivity.

Up and Vanished with Payne Lindsey. It’s about a disappearance of Tara Grinstead who was a high school teacher and beauty queen in Georgia. This has been a cold case for 11 Year’s! You get to hear multiple interviews and hear about evidence!

This podcast is second one that I listened to and is still a favorite!

Atalanta Monster with Payne Lindsey. Do you remember hearing on the news “it’s 10 o’clock do you know where your children are?” About 40 years ago there was a killer on the streets of Atalanta and Payne walks you through the entire case!

S-Town is about a town in Alabama that John says needs some investigating because someone got away with murder and they are bragging about it! Someone unexpected ends up dead and the truth leads to a treasure hunt and fights.

Serial Killers tells you pretty much the autobiography of the killer.

Breakdown has Six seasons and a binged them all between April and May. First season was about Justin Chatman and how he could be in jail for no reason. Second season is about a death in a hot car and while it was a very upsetting and sad story apparently it happens more than we know! Third season was about a doctor jeopardizing his career and taking advantage of woman. Fourth season was about a young murder outside of Taco Bell. The fifth season was about Tex Mclver case. Sixth season was about a double murder outside of burger king. All season are good! I hope they come out with more!

Unsolved is unsolved true crime. First season is about a freshman student that goes missing and then found murdered. Second season is about a two and half year old that goes missing and then founded three weeks later in a river.

A Killing on Cape is about Christina Worthington who was a single mother to a two year old little girl! Christina was found stabbed to death in her home with her child there, but unharmed. Find out how it all unfolds by listening!

A murder on Orchard Street is an unsolved case from 2003. Burke was leaving a night club with a friend and sister and was shot to death. His sister tried to save him, but was unsuccessful. Find out who shot him in the podcast!

The last one I will mention is My Favorite Murder with Karen an Georgia! These two ladies are super funny and just enjoy talking abut murder and everything in between. Honestly I just started their podcast from the beginning and I can only see it getting better and better!

Do you have any favorite murder or true crime podcast? I would love to listen to what you enjoyed! If you have listened to any of the ones that I listed, please comment with which ones and if you liked it or not!

Oh yes, I do listen to more than murder and true crime, I will list those in another post soon!

Thanks for reading!

You can find me on:

Twitter: @jrenfro99

Instagram: @loveinjune16

Big Brother

Have you ever seen Big Brother? If you have not it is on its 20th season, starting tomorrow! I am super excited about it and they better not bring back any more vets (people that have already been on the show)!

CBS has live coverage of it where you can see what they do 24/hr pretty much. Randy and I have watched it a few different times, but not all day/everyday.

I used to not watch much TV at all, but now that I have free time and time to just relax, I have learned to love it! Many times I feel like I might be wasting my time, but you know sometimes you just need a break and binge watch something. Sometimes its nice to not have to think about your to-do list or clean.

Remembering back when I was a child my dad would always say that my sister was the TV watcher and I was the social butterfly, always on the phone! Too funny! Do you remember watching much TV as a child or do you watch more now?

Now back to Big Brother, I started watching this show when I met Randy and I did not think I would like it so much, but much to my surprise I LOVED it! I even started a Facebook group so that we can make predictions about who will win! It is a lot of fun and you are welcome to join it if you like!

https://m.facebook.com/groups/792845357558230

First episode starts tomorrow! Be sure to watch it with me and comment what you liked/dislike!

Thanks for reading!

You can follow me:

Instagram: @loveinjune16

Twitter: @jrenfro99

The worst day of my life!

Let me take you through one of the worse events in my life. I was single at that time and was taking my son for a routine visit to his primary care physician and he heard a heart murmur. He told me that some children just have them, but wanted us to follow up with a cardiologist. So, right after leaving I called the cardiologist to get in and the wait was almost over 8-9 months! I called his primary care back and told him. The next thing I knew we had an appointment a couple days later. My mother decided to go with me, just in case. I am forever grateful for her being there for both of us!

The cardiologist office was at our local children’s hospital in the city. When we arrived we checked in and waited at least about 45 mintues before being asking back by one of nurses. Once we were in the room the doctor came in and listed. He did hear the murmur and decided to do an EKG, Echo and xray on the spot. Once all of those were finished we were asked if they could do more on the echo. Yes, of course you can. I remember while walking down the hallway thinking there is something wrong with my baby. I know there is they would not ask for more photos of his heart if there was not anything wrong. They want to make sure what they see is what they see. I remember walking into the room and asking questions to the ultrasound tech and her saying that she cannot tell me and that I will have to wait for the doctor. Once the tech was finished and my mom, Ethan and I were back in the room I turned to my mom started to tear up and say, I know something is wrong with Ethan. My mom held me and told me that no matter what we will get through this and that we are a strong family. The doctor then took forever to come back in. I know for sure that it was at least about an hour before he came back into the room. When he did arrive he did tell us that Ethan has cor triatriatum. Which by deffination is: (or triatrial heart) is a congenital heart defect where the left atrium (cor triatriatum sinistrum) or right atrium (cor triatriatum dextrum) is subdivided by a thin membrane, resulting in three atrial chambers (hence the name).

Obviously I was young at the time and had no idea what he just said! I made him write it down for us and explain it in terms that we could understand. While he explained it he drew a photo and he also showed us on a diagram. When he was explaining he said there are two sides of the heart and in the middle there is tissue in between along with a hole. The blood flow is supposed to go straight down each side, but instead it is going inside the hole and around the tissue. He then said that Ethan would have to have open heart surgery to get the tissue out and close the hole. Ethan was a premature baby and was still weighing less than he should at that time, he wanted us to come back and get check out again in a month, but wanted to hear from us if there were any signs of distress or discomfort and to keep track of feedings, input and out put and/or vomiting. Ethan needed to be feed every 2/3 hours because he was spitting up some of the formula. The doctor was hoping that we could wait until about 1 year old before he does surgery on Ethan so he gave us medication and sent us on our way.

The next appointment that we went to Ethan had to have another echo and I remember walking down the hallway feeling alone and uncomfortable. Once we were in the room for the echo I sat next to Ethan looking at the screen praying that nothing has change for the worst and hoping that it either stayed the same or somehow it got better. Imaging having a baby laying on a medical bed and you holding his hand, face and torso. All while looking at the screen in front of you and the technician taking photos. Your not 100% sure on what your looking at, but you know it is off and not right because you can feel it in your gut.

So, back to the exam room we go and wait for the doctor. The doctor arrives and says that we need to do surgery sooner than we thought because one of the sides of the heart is becoming enlarged. So, we set up the surgery date for when they suggested and we are supposed to be there at 5am!

A few days before surgery I called my doctor because I was having so much anxiety and couldn’t sleep. Thankfully she gave me medication so I would be able to sleep.

The morning of the surgery we walked into the hospital and it was pretty much empty you see nurses and some doctors, that’s really it because it was so early in the morning. I remember they came in and drew blood and rubbed cleansers on his chest. I was able to walk back with Ethan and there really were double doors like they tell/show you in the movies. I kissed Ethan and told him I love him. Once they walked through the doors to the other side I could feel my whole body shut down and I backed up to the wall and squatted down and cried. I just handed my son off to the doctors to perform open heart surgery. Ethan was only 5 months old at the time! I had no idea what could/might happen. I prayed and cried! I went back out to the waiting room where my immediate family was.

The head nurse came out to check on me every few hours and give me updates. My Papa from Oklahoma came in town to be with us that day too. I was so blessed to have many of my family members and friends stop by through out the day. Many brought food for everyone and gifts for Ethan. It felt like days until I was able to see Ethan again, but it was about an 8-10 hour surgery. The hours did not go quickly! I tried to take a nap. I went outside and smoked. (I no longer smoke now!) I talked with everyone to keep my mind at ease.

Once the surgery was finished the doctor came out to talk with us and tell us that everything went as planned and that we can go in and see Ethan. I was going to go by myself, but it was suggested that I go with at least one other person. I didn’t really think it all the way through as to how he was going to look afterwards. I wanted to go with my dad. We walked into a room washed our hands and head to the area that he was in. We walked in and Ethan was laying in this big crib with wires everywhere and was still sleeping. My heart started to beat my crazy, I started to sweat and then tear up. I could not hold him to make anything and everything better. There were machines, tubes and wires everywhere. The scar was fresh you could tell. Luckily my dad was next to me and held me close and told me that Ethan will be okay and we will all be here for you and him.

Those that wanted to go back in the room were allowed and then we went home for the night. We spent a few more days in the hospital and then we were released home. I spent every minute I could there.

We went for check ups after surgery and each time has been good. The last time we were in we were released to come back in 5 years. I do know I can call at anytime if I feel like we have a problem, but hopefully we won’t!

I am still very thankful for the doctors, nurses and other staff members that helped us take care of Ethan.

Thank you for reading.

You can follow me on Twitter @jrenfro99.

You can follow me on Instagram @loveinjune16.

National Selfie Day 2018

Randy, Ethan and I all went to dinner today and while we were there I told them that it is national selfie day and that we should take a photo. Let me just tell you my boys do not always enjoy taking photos. They even told me that a selfie is not with a group, it is with a single person so I needed to take the photo with just me in it! Yes

That got me to think… is that true? I just figure if the phone is facing in front of you and you are taking a photo of you and others then it’s a selfie! I decided to look it up to get the proper definition and this is what I found on dictionary.com: a photograph taken with a smartphone or other digital camera by a person who is also in the photograph, especially for posting on a social media website.

So, it doesn’t tell you how many people! Oh dear! What do you think?

Since the boys didn’t let me take a photo I grouped together some of my favorite selfies!

Thank you for reading!

Twitter @jrenfro99

Instagram: @loveinjune16

Don’t forget to follow my blog and I would love to hear from you so comment away.❤️

What we did on Sunday.

This past Sunday was Father’s Day. My husband and I woke up and went over to my parents house and gave my dad a card and special light bulbs that he can use with the Alexa that will turn on and off after you ask it to.

Next we met up with my sister, Kim, her husband, Joe and their kids Logan and Owen. We met at Gus’s Pretzels which is a St. Louis pretzel shop. It is delicious! They also have windows where you can see the workers making the pretzels too. Logan had me hold him up so that he could see many times. Everyone enjoyed their pretzels!

After we were finished at Gus’s we went to Anheuser Busch and did a brewery tour. Our tour guide was great! She made jokes and just had fun with us. We even got to see a few stallion horses! Logan figured out that one of the horses names was Lloyd! He even got to hold one of the horse shoe! It was super big compared to normal size horses! We toured around most of the place and then at the end spent some time at the museum that they have. The very last thing we did was take the bus back to the beginning and Logan was so very excited about this part. He literally grabbed my hand and yelled out mom/dad we are going to the bus to ride it now! Once we were on the bus he was clapping his hands and was telling everyone how excited he was. I was lucky enough to get some photos with him on it and he had one big smile!

Everyone 21 years and older got free samples of beer multiple times and also a chip to use at the end of the tour to use at the resterount. I dont drink beer, so I gave mine to my dad! Lets just say he was feeling pretty good by the end!

Once we were finished there we went to Hodak’s for dinner and then Ted Drews for desert! Ted Drew’s is famous in St. Louis for there frozen custard. The lines are long, but they go fast and with worth every bit of it! It was yummy in my tummy!

It was so much fun spending time with family. Thanks for reading!

You can follow me on:

Instagram @loveinjune16

Twitter @jrenfro99

Father’s Day!

Happy Father’s Day to all the Fathers out there!

Ethan is so lucky to have so many amazing adult male figures in his life!

First, I would like to say thank you to his biological dad. We are now at a 50/50 custody agreement and I think it has worked wonders for everyone’s relationship. Thanks for everything you do for Ethan! I know Ethan looks up to you very much!

Second and my most favorite bond that Ethan has is with my husband, Randy. Randy and I have been together since 2014. So, over the last 4 years Ethan and Randy have really gotten to know each other and have built a relationship that I never knew would happen. I am forever grateful for Randy and how much his life changed when met. Randy went from being single, to a relationship with me and then a father figure to Ethan when he is at our house. I am sure it didn’t take much thinking because Ethan and I are pretty awesome, but I am well aware of the fact that he didn’t have to.  There are days when Ethan and Randy get to be by themselves and they call them bro-days! How stinkin cute is that!

Ethan and Randy can now gain up on me and say boys against girls and boys rule. At one point in my life I never thought I would have that and while sometimes it drives me crazy when they do it.. I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Randy doesn’t talk much about his father since he pass before I knew him, but I am sure his dad would be proud of the person Randy is today. Sometimes Randy will say things like how these cookies used to be his dad’s favorite and I enjoy hearing those stories from him. It makes me feel connected to him and like he can tell me anything.

Ethan still has both sets of grandparents on both sides and I believe that they need the acknowledge because they are both there for Ethan when needed. Thank you to both of you.

As you can tell when I think of Father it is not always the biological father it is all male figures in my sons life.

For Father’s Day Ethan will be with his dad and I hope they have a wonderful day and we will celebrate Randy and Ethan’s relationship when he comes back to our house.

On Father’s Day our plan is to spend time with my mom, dad, sister, sisters husband and their two kids. We are going to a brewery tour and Gus’s pretzels.

Thank you for reading!

You can find me in Instagram (loveinjune16) and Twitter (jrenfro99) if you like. Please like, comment and/or subscribe.

Something New

Hello everyone! It has been a very long time since I have made a blog post because I mainly set it up for my Clever Container business and I am no longer selling! With that being said, I enjoyed writing and sharing my personal insights on the blog. I have decide that I will continue to write, but make it more personal and about me.

Now, you might ask yourself… why would I want to read that?! Well, I will tell you why. The very most important reason is because I am freakin awesome! I plan on keeping it real and telling you about my journey as a mother, being an awesome wife, full time medical assistant and someone that wants to continue to grow and explore!

I am mainly going to write because I have considered writing a book about a certain subject which we can get into at another time, but I honestly have no idea where to start, so as we all say: practice makes perfect!

My plan is to post this blog and update everyone on the change of subject and then I will write more. You are welcome to ask questions and ask for certain subjects if you want. My only objection is I will not tell you about what I want to write my book about until later, still working about the idea of writing a blog frequently to get better first!

During the summer time our son, Ethan spends a week with his dad’s side of the family and then spends a week with us. Hopefully I will be able to write weekly, if not, more during the summer.

As always, thank you for reading and leave a comment or suggestion, if you like.

Thanks!