Throughout the course of life, we seek after the enticing sense of feeling recognized and understood by another. In other words, we want to be known and know another intimately. The coursing of blood to the face as we blush from happiness or the welling of tears in our eyes from the pain caused in loss. Either one of these emotions is tied to the binding feeling that comes with time, passion and perseverance.
The teenage years filled with hormones, infatuation and false hope make up the beginning of a deep-seated sense of being lost to the wind. Being blown about like a butterfly in a hurricane, the feeling of seeing but one bright peddle in the wind was enough to make a heart leap for joy, but just as it came it went. The bright spots faded quickly into the carnage left behind by the storm of life. Brokenness surrounded on every side with little left whole but a sea of lies. Forward fast and you see the year of change come about with gladness and cheer. The storm in the past and rebuilding afoot, the heart once broken was beginning to look.
Year by year the heart grew soft. The time for romance was now aloft. Happy abounded and days rolled by but hope never faded and this heart felt content to rest in His presence wherever it went. Then came the day of the spark that ignites a passion so bright it lights up my life.
The ist without the art
Thank you for reading this far. You see, the story of the word I am so obviously speaking of is the very thing which has accomplished great good and bad for its sake. I would like to break down this poem of sorts to tell the story of why I waited so long for a four-letter word.
When in my teenage years there were many girls who would string me along with the only intent of using me to get what they desired from me at the time, money or a ride in my truck. I, being the generous type, would typically oblige to my own expense. This lasted for a few years until I graduated high school. Deciding this was not working, I tried going on actual planned dates. To little avail, I would typically have one date, communication would fade and on life went.
This cycle continued into my twenties, but eventually I found contentment in my relationship with Jesus. I no longer had a desire to date and decided instead to focus on Him and pray for a future relationship that may turn into a lifelong commitment.
About five months of being content and single, I was introduced to my now girlfriend of nearly one year. Trust was difficult to build since I had been used so blatantly in the past, but she pushed through my insecurity and broke down my walls. She made my heart come to a point of having the only response on could have, “I love you.”
Who am I?
What brought me here?