Love Story- Guest Blogger

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Colt Sawyer

I never thought I’d be that girl. I mean, I obviously knew I’d love my child but I always tended to give an -eye roll- to the sappy post moms would write about their children.

Love never came easy to me. I grew up in home where love was shown by being called names and being abused. I put myself in relationships that were similar to my home life. That quickly went south and I  just gave up on “love” completely. I never really trusted anyone. There were never really people that I knew had my back 24/7 and truly deeply loved me.

Life was getting tough for me. I was broke, in legal trouble, lost my drivers license, working 40 plus hours a week to never see a paycheck, I spent what little money I did have on partying and alcohol. Which, does not solve your problems. My depression and anxiety were at an all time high and I barely even loved myself. I didn’t take care of myself and I needed to grow up.

Out of nowhere; I decided to move from the town and I had lived in my whole life. A fresh start is what I thought I needed. Everything was going great and then boom, two pink lines. Now here I was, pregnant by a  guy I had barely even been dating. I was lost. I had no idea what I was going to do. This is not what was intended. I refused to give up though.

My pregnancy was 100% the hardest period of my life. I suffered from very bad pregnancy depression, my relationship was not working out like I wanted it to, my dad went to prison, my youngest sister passed away, and my younger brother attempted suicide and became 100% blind.

All I wanted was to stay calm for my son. They’ll tell you a million times that stress is bad for your baby. That’s exactly what I did. Jessica, 3 years ago would have straight up had a mental breakdown. I’m scared to even think about how I would have handled that time in my life if I wasn’t carrying my son. I was still so sad and angry though. That time of my life is still haze to be honest.

Then August 3rd came and my 8lb 8oz beautiful baby boy was born. The best mistake that had ever happened to me. From that moment, I felt the love I had needed my whole life. It’s so hard to explain but it’s magical.

He’s 18 months old now and our love grows stronger every day. He is momma’s boy. He’s helped me grow so much as a person. I’ve become stronger and more patient. I’ve learned to appreciate the love that people give me and not expect some over exaggerated love. I’ve learned to forgive. I’ve learned to smile.

My son came in a period of my life when I need him most. He’s changed me as a person. He makes me have my act together and strive to be the best I can be. He makes me love myself more than I ever have before. He saved my life.  He made my life complete. He will always be my true love story.

 

A little about me-

I’m Jessica from HeyMamaJess.com. I’m born and raised in East Texas and I’ve always had a passion for writing and trying to make other people life’s easier! I love being a mom, promoting self care, and crafting. You can check out my blog or follow me at instragram.com/heymamajessss

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Jessica’s story spoke to me! I was teary eye by the end and that is how you know you have one amazing story! Thank you for sharing and I hope that you and Colt continue to bond over the years! Boys, are so such momma’s boys, even at age 13. SHHH don’t tell my son I told you.

Follow me at any of these places:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loveinjune16/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jrenfro99
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